Post Study Aboard Syndrome

Never I thought I had this feeling. I am home for more month, started a new job a week after. Everything was well planned after graduation. Travelling for couple countries, chilling a little with friends in UK abit more then im home. 17hours long haul flight home was a nightmare for reasons. But somehow, i was quite enjoying it (sounds weird) but maybe because i was heading home, a place where i knew exactly where i am going, or maybe is the free flow white wine.

Landed. Didn't hear my home-bound announcement, walked out from the air-craft, in the airport, looked at the familiar languages. Suddenly i was disappointed. I didnt take the feeling seriously but keep moving till I saw my parents and went home. For a week, i basically did not go anywhere because i was trying to keep it as secret to surprise my friends during a wedding. It went well.

Then I started to work. This feeling has started to make me immersed myself into a depression that i did not expect. I knew it wasn't right. I felt my new chapter of life is start to be sucked. This feeling keep growing, and growing stronger than i thought. I feel I don't actually have a life. I don't really go outside, I don't really wanna hang out that much. I just get up everyday, ready for work, then work, then home, read some stuff and ready for bed. In my mind, i thought im going to be like this for the rest of my life. and i feel shit. There are scary thoughts ran through my head. It just scares me but i have got my support. My little wifey.

Nobody has warned me coming home has got me these feelings, anxieties, depress, demotivate and loneliness. I felt that I have no bad jokes to speak with, i miss all my friends in UK, ainsley, becki, my little wifey and the whole deep squad. I know i needed more time to adjust, to settle back.

I started to hang out with friends. Probably started with Rachel. I knew she is always there for me even since i was back. We spoke to each other a lot, shared lots my feelings to her. and she was there to listen. I feel great I had someone listened to me, gave me some solutions like. Went for dimsum that i have been longing for with my high school friends. As we keep conversation going, i feel good. We talked about everything.

Home more than a month now. Things for sure getting better but there's so much more to settle down to make myself feel better.

Peace.